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Post by xlter on Feb 2, 2014 10:39:56 GMT -5
I know many of you have gone through tough times . I value your educated opinions & experience in certain matters . Help me to understand what I'm getting into . I know it will be a long , hard road .
I'll soon ( within hours ) be faced with trying to help a loved one come to grips with alcoholism . It's been all around me most of my life , but I've never had to help anyone deal with it . We'll have a family meeting to convince the person of how serious it has gotten . I pray he makes the right choice or he could loose everything he holds dear to his .... sober heart . His family can no longer tolerate the pain or financial abuse . Something has to be done if it's not already to late . Please pray for my friend .
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Post by DeepseekerADS on Feb 2, 2014 11:35:15 GMT -5
Having lived around alcoholism all my life, I completely understand your dilemma. You are completely helpless to stop the addiction, and you end up damaging yourself in heartbreak more than you actually help the victim of addiction. It essentially will take an "act of God" to shake the victim awake. Even then, the path to failure is a very short one.
Unfortunately, all anyone can do is pray for your friend. God bless all who suffer because of this person, as this person cannot realize the pain brought to those who love him/her.
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Post by BC1969 on Feb 2, 2014 14:47:28 GMT -5
Well in my own experience with this as my pops was an alcoholic the first step is getting your loved to openly admit he/she is a alcoholic if he/she does then that's great, if not then it will be very difficult, as per my experience.
Not to discourage you but we tried the family meeting intervention route and it really backfired, but I will pray that the person overcomes their disease, I'll pray for you too, for strength and resolve.
Mike
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Post by patcat on Feb 2, 2014 17:35:07 GMT -5
Hi! Friend of Bill here. AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) can be a step in the right direction.
Please seek out your local chapters and meeting times. They also have a very good programs for loved ones and/or dependents of alcoholics. You're not alone in this/these struggles.
Knowing the road that may be ahead,, prayers and good thoughts sent your way.
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Post by xlter on Feb 2, 2014 23:45:40 GMT -5
I believe we made a great start .. Thank you all for your thoughts And prayers. With Gods help he may begin recovery.
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Post by BC1969 on Feb 3, 2014 0:13:36 GMT -5
Well thank God for that, if you ever need a ear to listen, or need any advice, I'm here.
I will pray on it all night, that blessing will find you and your loved ones.
Mike
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Post by xlter on Feb 3, 2014 2:15:23 GMT -5
Thanks BC . We'll need all we can get . I believe very strongly in the power of prayer . Once again God and his Son Jesus were listening . I realize this will be an hourly struggle for our loved one . I believe the real eye opener was that it was not just his family that wanted him to seek help , but he was requested to no longer attend certain public events by the coordinators . His actions were upsetting the children at the events . So it was'nt just his family over reacting to heavy drinking , it was actual public opinion . The individual I worry most about in this whole ordeal is his young son . You guys & ladies like to LINK songs to topics . While on YouTube I accidentally stumbled across this one by Billy Currington and it really hit me hard . www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=U1no7Or9BeI#t=10 |
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Post by Deleted on Feb 3, 2014 7:54:09 GMT -5
My heart goes out to you and I will be praying for strength for your loved one. Maybe others recognizing he has a problem will be the thing that drives him to want to quit once and for all.
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Post by xlter on Feb 3, 2014 13:36:31 GMT -5
I pray your right Coily . Thank you so much . May God bless ALL of you and yours also .
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Post by DeepseekerADS on Feb 3, 2014 17:18:08 GMT -5
Thanks BC . We'll need all we can get . I believe very strongly in the power of prayer . Once again God and his Son Jesus were listening . I realize this will be an hourly struggle for our loved one . I believe the real eye opener was that it was not just his family that wanted him to seek help , but he was requested to no longer attend certain public events by the coordinators . His actions were upsetting the children at the events . So it was'nt just his family over reacting to heavy drinking , it was actual public opinion . The individual I worry most about in this whole ordeal is his young son . You guys & ladies like to LINK songs to topics . While on YouTube I accidentally stumbled across this one by Billy Currington and it really hit me hard . www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=U1no7Or9BeI#t=10That was a beautiful song my friend.... I pray the best for your family. My Dad was mean, cruel. I hid from him, wasn't always successful. He'd sit on my bed at night while I was asleep and wake me up just to beat me. My stepfather was my father figure. But he was a sloppy drunk, slept with the dogs. He was killed driving drunk, and I cried for the first time since infancy. I'll never forget him telling me he'd always love me as his son, and the next day my mother sent me away - I was 12. Alcoholism is no family for the children - nothing but lost hope and disappointment. The greatest thing my real father ever did for me was throw me out when I was 15. I was free of everyone, and I survived. Where it has affected me is that I have never known what real "family" meant. Carried that into my marriage - I don't wonder why she divorced me.... Alcoholism affects generations, not just immediate family.... Lord, what do we do to our children?  |
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Post by xlter on Feb 4, 2014 8:24:28 GMT -5
That's an awfull childhood Deepseeker . That sounds similar to my fathers childhood . His father was a mean drunk also . My dad and my uncle ( his younger brother ) must have made a vow to never be like thier father . They would social drink but never get drunk . I honestly believe if my father were still alive , our loved one that's battling alcoholism would have never gotten as far down the bad road as he has . My father always knew when enough was enough and would have noticed and stopped it long ago .
Our family recently lost my nephew to drugs & alcohol . He went from a great young man to 0 in 5 years when drugs got involved . Once he ran out of drugs , money and friends , he put a gun to his chest and ended his life at 31 years old . We had hoped this would be a wake up call to the rest of the family members , but apparently the addictive gene is much stronger than common sence .
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Post by unclebuck257 on Feb 4, 2014 12:28:12 GMT -5
xlter,
Just saw this thread my friend and I'll keep you and your unnamed family member in our prayers. The Lord Knows who he/she is.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 4, 2014 13:56:35 GMT -5
Deepseeker my heart goes out to you . It must be hard to be able to trust anyone after growing up the way you did I'm sure and especially in marriage,the ultimate trust situation besides a parent and a child. Xlter,I'm sorry about your nephew, do hard to understand that someone with everything going for them could just throw it all away because of drugs..This was an excellent article a friend of mine posted on Facebook about not lying to your children about drugs and alcohol and to tell them they do make you feel good but the horror that comes from feeling that good and giving in to drugs and other substance abuse. www.hughhowey.com/this-post-is-bad-for-you-dont-read-it/ |
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Post by xlter on Feb 5, 2014 18:22:42 GMT -5
God Bless you and thank you Unclebuck. Yes Coily , I try to be as honest as possible with my 8yr old daughter. It's funny sometimes how thier innocence simplifies lifes challenges... She would say..... well , just stop doing bad stuff . LOL. Oh , if only life were so simple. I'll try to spend some time with my family member this weekend . I pray I see a positive change or at least an effort .
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Post by xlter on Feb 10, 2014 10:32:23 GMT -5
Once again I'll give credit where credit is due . Please thank our Lord Jesus & God the Father . Your prayers have worked ! I bumped into my family member a couple times this past weekend and he seemed very sober both times . Had a few nice casual conversations . No drama or arguments . No beer in hand at 8 am . No paniced texts from his family in over a week . I realize it can still be a long , hard road , but I'll take ANY positive sign that he is honestly trying to save himself and his family from more heartache .
Thank you all from the bottom of my & my families heart for your prayers . And Thank You Lord Jesus for hearing & answering them .
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